Friday, May 29, 2009

Can I Super Size IT?

So I and a lot of people I know are pregnant or have just had babies and I got to wondering…
What is the weight of the biggest baby ever born?
In case you were wondering...
The Guinness Book of World Records says the heaviest baby ever was born to Anna Bates of Canada in 1879. It weighed 23.12lb and died 11 hours after birth. The heaviest newborn to survive was a boy born in Italy in 1955 that weighed 22 pounds 8 ounces.

More recently in 2007 a Siberian woman gave birth to her 12th child and was stunned to find that little Nadia weighed in at a massive 17 pounds, 1 ounce.Nadia was delivered by Cesarean section in the local maternity hospital on September 17, joining eight sisters and three brothers, a local reporter said.

"We were all simply in shock," said Nadia's mother, Tatyana Barabanova, 43. "What did the father say? He couldn't say a thing - he just stood there blinking." ALL of her other babies weighed over 11 pounds!




Also a woman in Brazil gave birth to a 17 pound baby boy. The doctor said his unusual size was probably due to his mother's diabetes condition.



Not to worry Kidshealth.org notes that most full term newborns weigh between 6 pounds, 2 ounces and 9 pounds, 2 ounces.



Me…I’m shooting for between 7 and 8!

*In the last picture I think the normal-size baby should have a little thought bubble reading "What are they feeding you?" or "Don't Eat Me!"*

Sunday, May 24, 2009

Infomercials for any age

So I have to admit I do something I thought I would never do as a parent...let my child rot out her brain by watching cartoons. We don't have cable, but there is one channel that plays cartoons pretty much every day all day...Channel 16 qubo. I let Kylie watch in the mornings after she has eaten and gotten dressed while I work on getting Tessa dressed and fed. Also she watches on Saturday mornings. It seems like it wouldn't be that bad but I have noticed a negative (besides the mind-numbing cartoons themselves)... commercialism.

One night she was trying to explain to me that we could buy this thing and you put it on the wall and no more mess just touch it...what?!

I obviously needed to view the product for myself so she called me in and I did witness first hand the ease of THIS

Not a bad idea I thought, but I'm not going to buy one. The next day I was called into see THESE

Okay, I might acutally buy some of those for my kids and preschool.

But it didn't stop there...She wanted me to listen as Billy Mays (the King of Infomercials) told about the awesome power of THIS

Not bad...but not needed.

The "pound that broke the fat woman's back" (so to speak) was when she excitedly pulled me into the other room exclaiming "Look mom, you just get on there and go around and it makes your tummy flat!"

"Kylie, you know why mom's tummy is so big, right?" I asked.

She quickly realized the error of her ways and hurriedly spit out, "I didn't say for you mom, I was just saying."

The sad news is...I'm sure after the the baby's born I will need one of THESE

Friday, May 22, 2009

This One Goes Out to the One I Love!

So my husband turned 30 yesterday and I feel bad because I really wanted to make this birthday different from all the others. But unfortunately yesterday I was holding two preschool programs. I tried to think of something else we could after his birthday but this is kind of a different year for us, between me being pregnant and him building a cabin we don't have a lot of time or options. So this may seem like any other birthday with presents, a cake, a movie, and going out to dinner. But I wanted him to know how proud I am of him and all that he has accomplished and all that he is. So here are 30 Things I Love about My Husband:

1.) He looks so hot with his hat on backwards. I know this is a little surface level but hey I think my love for him is a compilation of big and little things.
2.) He has a great smile.
3.)He can figure anything out. I mean this literally...electrical, construction, mechanical...anything.
4.)He always puts the leftovers away. Again a silly little thing, but in the evening when I'm tired this means a lot.
5.)He knows a little about everything. He always knows that latest news and other current issues.
6.)He's laid back. He's a pretty even-tempered guy and that rounds out my emotional side.
7.)He's "Task Completion Oriented." This a phrase we thought of when we were first married to put on his resume but it really does fit him perfectly. If he something isn't working or broken he fixes it immediately. He's not a procratinator and will work at something until it is finished.
8.)He's trustworthy. I have complete faith in the decisions he makes for our family.
9.)He's SMART. Two Masters Degrees by the time your 30...not too shabby!
10.)He's practical. Sometime I think this isn't a blessing but in reality it keeps our decisions and finances in check.
11.) He's totally himself. He never pretends to be anything but himself.
12.) He sings off key. I know I make fun of him but secretly I like the fact that he doesn't take himself seriously too seriously and can act goofy every once in a while.
13.)He's a good conversationalist. My extended family wants to talk to him more than do to me at parties and reunions, and of course, I love lying in bed with him and talking about everything and anything.
14.)His long eyelashes. I'm also glad that gene came through for our girls.
15.) His thick hair. 30 years old and not a receding hairline or bald spot in sight. My girls also lucked out to inherit long thick hair from dad.
16.)Nice hands. I know these last couple are superficial, but hey, it's my list.
17.)He's a good dad. I love watching Kylie and Tessa greet his when he comes home. Pulling on his name tag, giving fist bumps, and hugs.
18.)He's a great provider. I never really worry because I know he will always do anything and everything to keep our family safe and happy.
19.)His opinions. Again, this was something I had to "learn" to love, but I do know when I show him something he will give me an honest opinion and help me to make it better.
20.) His love for learning. I thought I was pretty smart but I realized that some things came easily for me and those were the only things that I excelled in. He has taught me to do the hard things...to push myself academically and keep learning.
21.) His hard working attitude. He doesn't complain about getting up early or working late. If things to be done, he simply gets them done.
22.)He always drives when we go anywhere together. Again, a little thing that means a lot.
23.)He puts the toilet seat down. Quite an accomplishment for a guy who grew up with only one sister :)
24.)He values time with our family.
25.)He has the same idea about pets that I do.
26.)He talks to me about things he's interested in.
27.)He doesn't keep anything from me...nothing that I know of at least :)
28.)He's a good son.
29.)He's a good son-in-law.
30.)He's the only man I couldn't live without!

Sunday, May 10, 2009

Love Being a Mom


This poem was on a friend's website and I thought it fit my feelings on being a mother perfectly. Happy Mother's Day!

Before I was a Mom,
I never tripped over toys
or forgot words to a lullaby.
I didn't worry whether or not
my plants were poisonous.
I never thought about immunizations.

Before I was a Mom,
I had never been puked on.
Pooped on.
Chewed on.
Peed on.
I had complete control of my mind
and my thoughts.
I slept all night.

Before I was a Mom,
I never held down a screaming child
so doctors could do tests.
Or give shots.
I never looked into teary eyes and cried.
I never got gloriously happy over a simple grin.
I never sat up late hours at night
watching a baby sleep.

Before I was a Mom,
I never held a sleeping baby just because
I didn't want to put her down.
I never felt my heart break into a million pieces
when I couldn't stop the hurt.
I never knew that something so small
could affect my life so much.
I never knew that I could love someone so much.
I never knew I would love being a Mom.

Before I was a Mom,
I didn't know the feeling of
having my heart outside my body.
I didn't know how special it could feel
to feed a hungry baby.
I didn't know that bond
between a mother and her child.
I didn't know that something so small
could make me feel so important and happy.

Before I was a Mom,
I had never gotten up in the middle of the night
every 10 minutes to make sure all was okay.
I had never known the warmth,
the joy,
the love,
the heartache,
the wonderment
or the satisfaction of being a Mom.
I didn't know I was capable of feeling so much,
before I was a Mom.

Saturday, May 9, 2009

MOM



Just wanted to give a little tribute to my mother. My mom has raised 8 children (2 boys, and 6 girls). Through all the book reports, science fairs, PTA's, and finding of talents she has somehow managed to keep her wits and her sense of humor.

So in honor of my mom, Joann, MaDean...Grandma Deanie
Here are just a few, the Top Ten, things I love about my mom:

10. She's funny. My mom has a great sense of humor. She can keep everyone laughing with her stories.
9. She's generous. My mom is very generous...she does a lot for our family and for those in her ward and neighborhood.
8. She's fun. My mom loves to plan activities to get the family together. Just sitting around talking with her is enjoyable.
7. She's resilient. My mom never lets herself dwell on the negative. She's a "pull yourself up by the bootstraps" kind of woman.
6. She's hardworking. I don't know how my mom accomplishes all she does. There are only a few moments when you will see her sitting down.
5. She's loving. My mom has a great love for people and is someone who will cry for and with you. She has the unique characteristic of empathy. Sympathy is feeling sorry for someone, empathy is really understanding another persons pain.
4. She's creative. She has great ideas from everything to a day with the grandkids to a school project.
3. She's a good listener. She is still the person I call when I am have good or bad news.
2. She's unselfish. I think when you have that many kids you don't have time to think of yourself. My mom would share anything with anyone...including her material possession, time and talents.
1. She's a great grandma! I don't think anyone can truly appreciate their mother until they have children themselves. Now I love watching my mom with my children. She makes them feel so special. She gives them hugs, makes them laugh, and know just what to do to make each one of the grandkids feel special.

Happy Mother's Day! You're the Best!


Friday, May 1, 2009

A shot in the arm...How about a punch in the face?



So today was the dreaded day....KINDERGARTEN SHOTS!!!!
Let me give you a little background on my daughter Kylie. Sensitive and cry would be two words to explain her generally and hysterics and screaming would be words to describe her feelings about doctors.
So I decided instead of waiting until her birthday in August I would schedule her shots this month. I did this for a couple of reasons:
1) I wanted to beat the mass back-to-school I forgot my kid needed a check up and immunizations rush.
2) Her dad is a wimp and makes me take her and I wanted to do it it before my enormous belly prevented me from being able to physically restrain her.

So I do my best to prep her....we talk about what is going to happen AND I buy her a prize. I know there are parents out there who think this is part of life and you shouldn't get a prize for it, but really the snowcone maker was for me anyways :)!

So we get to the doctor and she is being VERY BRAVE while they weigh and measure her, take her blood pressure, and give her an eye test. Then the nurse informs us that the doctor likes to make sure the kids are not anemic. So Kylie totally looses it with the finger-prick. She sees the blood and wails. Lucky for us (said sarcastically) we had 40 minutes to wait before the doctor came in...just enough time to calm down. The doctor does his usual knee tapping, heart listening, say ahhhh thing and then tells us that the nurse will be in with three shots.

So 10 minutes later it is the moment of truth. The nurse has me hold her arms so she can't grab the needle. There's shot one...gasping and screaming, shot two....continuing with a mix of screaming and crying, AND.....

I am thinking where is shot three?

The nurse looks up and says we are out of our MMR shot so you will have to come back another time.

This woman is lucky that I am passive-aggressive and usually keep my emotions bottled up until I can unleash them on my husband as we talk in bed at night.

I AM FURIOUS! These are my thoughts:
What the @$#% (hell) ? Are you kidding me?!! We have been here for an hour and a half, my daughter has cried and screamed and you want me to come back??? There better not be another co-pay and you better find something that will knock her our because this is a load of *$#% (crap)! Who does the inventory in this place because they should be fired...or have to come in and listen to my doctor scream...this happened once before with Tessa but she was coming in again in 6 months so it wasn't as bad.

The only thing that saved me from going on a tirade or breaking into tears was the fact that my friend Heather was watching Tessa, because believe you me if I had been there that long with two crying kids I would have opened up a can of Pregnant Hormones on them!!!

So, as you can tell, I'M STILL REALLY UPSET AND SERIOUSLY THINKING ABOUT CHANGING DOCTORS!

So, who wants to break the news to Kylie?